Don’t be ashamed of your scars

I have a skin disease and it’s been plaguing my life for several years now! Wow…. I can’t believe I just wrote that. I can’t believe that I am sharing this with the world. I have been battling HS ( hidradenitis suppurativa) and it has been a nightmare to say the least. From watching what I eat, to saying goodbye to some of my favourite foods and fruits, to stained and ruined clothing, this disease has altered my way of living in ways I never thought imaginable.

I know I know it’s not terminal, although in some cases some have died, but it’s still a disease, and my life will never be the same. I was angry at my body for a long time. And I was ashamed of my scars. When I had first been diagnosed with HS, I would get flare ups here and there, and then one year it finally advanced to the next stage. From that point on I was in and out of the ER, I battled infections, I watched my skin open up slowly from flare ups and boils, and for a whole year I walked around with gauze tucked underneath my shirt to manage wound drainage. How attractive!

This hindered my confidence immensely and even though people saw a pretty face, deep down inside I felt hideous and I was ashamed of a body that I loved so much. A body that ran track. A body that birthed children, and a body that served Jesus! I was literally ashamed of my scars. Are you ashamed of yours?

After years of dealing with HS, doctors with puzzled looks and no permanent remedies, I decided to do some research on my own and although it didn’t cure me it made things a little easier. Finally, I knew what I was dealing with and I began to learn what made me flare up. When we are diagnosed with certain diseases and illnesses sometimes we tend to give up especially when there’s no cure and recovery is not easy. After years of battling with HS, God told me to fight back and as hard as it was I did! I decided not to let it control my life. I’ve preached while battling an infection, I still show mad love to my partner when normally I would run the other way because of my scars, and I wore what I wanted. Do I still have my moments of insecurity yes but overall I love me!

It’s important to do your part by being committed to your healing process! Surround yourself with loving and supporting people who truly love you and whom won’t judge you! Ask God to build a safe community around you.

People who will love you no matter what! I’m happy to say that I am healing and doing much better these days. I’m fasting, eating healthier, and staying away from foods that cause inflammation. What changes can you make today?

This letter, is for somebody! You’ve been battling with something whether it’s your weight, a disease, or any other infliction where you’ve been living in shame. You’ve been on the verge of giving up, suffering in silence, but God sent me to tell you that your healing is here, shame is gone, and to tell you that you are beautiful! Get back up! Take care of yourself! Have faith that God can heal you! Buy that nice summer outfit! tell your partner how you feel!

Just don’t give up! Just don’t sit back and take it because you have so much life left with a God given purpose! So do not be ashamed of your scars! You are somebody! You are beautiful! Don’t be ashamed!