Looking Beyond Thoughts of Suicide – Nkosikhona Baloyi

Home > Looking Beyond Thoughts of Suicide – Nkosikhona Baloyi

 
In each stage of development from birth to death, there’s always a stress that tends to affect us. We have learnt that there is no stress that should be taken lightly. Each individual deals with the stressors differently. Our mind always try to relieve the pain by finding and trying different solutions. It is very sad that sometimes when the stresses and pressures overwhelms us that some people begin to contemplate suicide. The suicidal thoughts come in different forms. It is wise to notice them when they start coming. Here are the 8 reasons why we should not give up on life.
 
 
 
 
Someone somewhere is feeling the same way you’re feeling
 
A blog written by Cassandra Portee described the story behind the meaning of the the Hymn ‘It is well with my soul/ When Peace Like A River’ was written by Horatio Spafford in Chicago after experiencing traumatic events in his life. His four year old son died from scarlet fever and then the Chicago fire burned all his possessions. The family in great distress, he decides to send his four daughters and wife to England for a vacation. He was going to join them later as he was finishing some business. Along the way, the ship that his family was travelling on, was involved in a terrible collision while crossing the Atlantic Ocean. All his four daughters died on the spot along with 200 people. His wife reached Wales and telegrammed him that she was the only survivor and he immediately set sail to England. He passed the location where his four daughters had died and he was comforted by his hope. He rushed to his room to write down the poem which was later composed into a song. Despite all that he went through he still had hope that all was well his soul as long God was with him.
 
There’s someone somewhere who is going through the same pain you’re feeling. We all face hardships in life, whether poor or rich. In the Holy Bible, we know of Job, who lost all his possessions, children and developed excruciating leprosy. We have seen the rich divorce, becoming bankrupt or facing scandals and seen the poor also divorce, lose work, house burned by fire. We have also lost our loved ones especially during this Covid-19 era. The world has a way of getting each and every one of us at a certain point in life.
 
Someone somewhere is always willing to listen to you
 
We all have people that care and love us. These are our families, friends or counsellors who are always willing to listen to us. At church we have our pastors. At school we have our teachers. It’s okay to talk about our feelings and our thoughts. It all starts with a willing heart. Here at Africa Healing Foundation we’re always willing to help you solve any puzzle that will be challenging you and that is why we started our Mindplug mental health campaign to raise awareness around mental health and let people know that they are not alone.
 
 
 
 
Everyone makes mistakes
 
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. “- Albert Einstein.
 
In life we get to learn that no matter what we do, we end up doing it the wrong way. There’s no point in life where we can say we’re now perfect beings. We will always do embarrassing things and we will always feel ashamed. We all have been through tough moments and felt very scared to face the world. No matter how tough it might seem, in a few weeks or few years, people will start to care less about it and eventually forget. It’s ok to feel anxious before and after an incident but know that it’s only a phase that will pass. Just remember to take a moment to breath to help you keep calm. I have met people in life who after doing something embarrassing would start laughing and the whole crowd would join them. Some people always look for ways to victimise others and they first observe how they feel about what they just did. Do not give them a room to victimise you and never feel like a victim.
 
You haven’t enjoyed life
 
We were all created for a reason although some may think we don’t deserve to be alive. Life has its ups and downs. In order to experience the euphoric feeling of a roller coaster we have to go up and down, up again and then down again. In order to enjoy life we have to know it’s opposite. If we didn’t know coldness existed we wouldn’t know how heat felt like. We still have vacations to take, adventures to explore, children of our own to raise, our biography to write and people to inspire from our life experiences. Each and every one of us has his or her own definition of success. Think about one thing that you feel would make you happy. It’s ok if nothing comes to your mind yet but everyday try to wake up and think about it. No matter how life keeps on throwing stones at us we must always fight it like conquerors. You can start setting small goals for yourself and come up with a bucket list of things to do in your lifetime. The best idea is to start with things that do not require money. Some might have a bucket list like this; helping the less fortunate, experiencing true joy, riding a bicycle, walking in the rain, riding an elephant, having children, riding a Ferris wheel, writing a book, doing a Ted talk, visiting Maldives, bathing in the rain, shouting on top of a mountain etc. It’s okay to go wild when creating the bucket list as long you feel the things on the list will make you feel most fulfilled.
 
We will miss you
 
In our communities where we live, learn and work, we have families, colleagues and friends. A human being is a relational self and relationships are what makes us whole. We cannot survive without interacting with others. When we interact with people, we tend to develop bonds. At some point we may feel like we’re all alone but there is always someone always willing to listen to us and make us smile. They could be family members, friends or counsellor. When you’re gone people will miss you. If people will miss you that means they loved you and they were willing to help you fight it. Humans beings have a different way of showing love but deep down they do.
 
It eventually works out
 
No matter what you go through in life it eventually works out. We become successful, move away from things that stress us and build our own place of peace. In the end Job became more successful than he was in the beginning. After experiencing bankruptcy, divorce, failure, shame or humiliation the conqueror always emerges victorious. It may take days, weeks, months or years to finally find the solution but you’ll eventually do. There is always a solution for every problem. It’s okay to let your family know that things are not balancing well at work. Do not take all the blame for yourself. Working it out as a family works best. It’s okay if you did not perform well in your last exam, work out a new study strategy and show them what you’re made of. If you are not able to see it, talk to someone either a therapist, family member, coach etc and figure it out together. Always have hope.
 
Your future self will thank you
 
Have you ever said something then regretted saying it after a few minutes? Have you ever felt like there’s a point in life when you were supposed to do something the other way round not the way you did. There’s also a point later in life after having fought the struggles of life like a warrior where you’ll thank yourself for holding on. Your struggles will become an inspiration to someone. One day you will look back and smile and wonder where you’ll be if you had given up.
 
Someone somewhere is feeling the same way you’re feeling and they are always willing to listen to you. We all make mistakes at some point. It all starts with the knowledge that we all have shares in the world and we deserve to experience a good part of life too.
 
Finally remember you have shares in this world and you matter.
 
 

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