When women gather they talk about their problems and give each other advice but when men gather they complain and drink beer just to forget about their problems for a while. This is the way it has been historically and still continues to be.
How often do we see men reaching out to talk to someone close or professionals about their problems? The answer is not that often and let’s take a look at why that is.
Let’s go back to the beginning of time. A man defended his family from predators, he hunted game and fed his family. He fought wild animals with success but sometimes he was left with scars which surprisingly were admired and termed symbol of bravery. A man was a warrior to his family. Men were expected to be strong through thick and thin, and even today when a young boy falls and dislocates his elbow he’s told to get up and be a man.
The way he is raised creates an inner belief that men are physically strong and are not supposed to cry. The mental strength of men is usually under-looked. The way men are perceived in societal norms puts so much pressure on them forgetting that they are also human beings with thoughts and emotions just like any other being. Most people may argue and point to men’s pride being the reason why he finds it hard to lean on someone for help but it might not be the case. It could be that bravery and championship is now crafted in their DNA.The brain controls every aspect of our body including thought processes, motivation, food intake, flight or fright mechanisms, learning and our personality. The personality of bravery and championship of men is thus controlled and regulated by the mind. When we are faced with a challenging and very distressing situation our minds malfunction and every aspect of our body is crippled including our personality. We become hopeless and in need of an external mind to assist us in sailing through.
The question is simple: If the mind is the one that helps us solve problems and if it’s 99% crippled, how can we find answers? The mind is the most fragile and most fundamental aspect of our bodies and yet we pay very little attention to it. The mind always gives us signals when it is in distress and needs attention. We may feel sadness, despair, hopeless, unloved, anxious etc. The fact is that the mind of a champion is usually extremely powerful, and that is the reason why many men would simple kill it for a while with alcohol but eventually it resurrects.
The only way to deal with stress or traumatic experience is to talk to professionals or someone whom you trust. Africa Healing Foundation is there to help you cope with any traumatic experience, sadness, negative feelings through therapies and programs that focus on your wellbeing. We are working to create awareness and destigmatize mental health. Men should feel that it is okay to seek the help they need without the fear of being judged. Internalised unresolved mental health issues can exacerbate the problem, which could potentially lead to alcoholism, suicide, psychotic breakdown, substance abuse, instability etc.
If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health issues seek help and know that you are not alone. It’s okay not to be okay, but don’t suffer in silence.
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